Brains and Beauty

"Negativities in life are essential for only in subtracting you can make a difference..." 

That is how I started my introduction for the last pageant I have joined. 

13 years ago, I was this unattractive child whom my neighbors love to bully. I was small, thin, and scarred. My dark complexion has added more nightmare to my childhood experience. At three years old, I often stayed at home crying. Nobody wants to play with me because, for them, I am ugly. I've been called names such as "bakekang", "negrita", "ulikba" and etc.

Some people may see that as just a joke for fun but, for a three year old whose beliefs and self-identity was just built from what other people tell her about who she is --- it is very heartbreaking. It is self-destructive. Since then, I began to believe that I am a really ugly creature. I may not be human being to their eyes. It was tough, that for more than a decade I spent countless nights crying to sleep for thinking I am look awful.

That's why I tried my very best to be the best in everything so that people would love me. I thought that being smart at least, would compensate for my physical appearance but, it does not. I still hear people telling me that "matalino ka lang, 'di ka maganda." And so I did everything to be beautiful. I studied about skincare, makeup and fashion. I've spent a lot of time, money and effort to be at least called 'beautiful enough'.

After all those years, I woke up from that lie. I have always been beautiful and they have always been blind. I am more than enough. 

Last year, I muster up all my courage and joined a pageant. And guess what? I won. I am runner-up. I was able to stand there at the stage victoriously. For the first time in my life, I have felt like I'm a princess. I am more than just brains. I am also a beauty.

The Girl You Can't See

So long gone...

So long ago...

Before I finally get a chance to talk to you. But it seems to me that you are too busy for my sentiments. Maybe it is just a dream that will never be real to just see you reply with the same amount of heart.

You were east and I'm west. That's how far we are. I never expected you to cross the same river but that fact that you are also longing for me that same way. Why can't you do the same.

Oh maybe I am just a little with a Lion's mane, never you ideal girl just a fan behind those glowing screens.

A fanatic hopeless romantic.

Catching Rocks

Countless noise. Deafening protests. Thousands of complain. They are throwing it to everybody. To anyone else.

Then I saw a rock coming towards my way. I braced myself for the impact for I thought it was gonna hurt me. But a miracle - the shot was reflected. It hit them back.
It was a great impact. But none of them were hurt. Instead, they still continued to throw. 

Hypocrites.

People who keep on spraying perfume on their poop even though it will stink.
Still acting clean even if their skeletons are noisily ringing in their closets.

Clickbaits

Isa lamang ito sa mga kariniwang kwento ng panloloko, pagpapapaasa at pagkasawi. Isang kwento ng isang tanga at manloloko. Kwentong nagmula sa ‘ikaw at ako’.

Isa aong mahiyain at walang bilib sa sarili. Isang pangit. Pero pinaramdam mo sakin na ako ay iba. “Hindi. Hindi ka pangit. Maganda ka.” Dahil sayo, nagkakulay ang mundo ko. ‘change is coming’ nga, ika nila.

Akala ko’y di ka tulad nila ngunit, ito’y ‘change scamming’ pala. Ang inakalang kong ‘matuwid na daan’, ‘matuwad’ pala talaga. “Mga kababayan mayroon na tayong kababayang nakaangat sa lusa.” Mali. Nagkamali sila.

Dahil ‘di mo ko ‘inangat sa laylayan’, yung palda ko lang.

The Truest Lovers are Friendzoned

No, I don't wanna be that little-miss-perfect anymore,
I don't wanna be that someone who will always be there to catch you whenever you fall,
Because those who are always there are taken for granted,
Those who are missing in action are wanted,

Those who you grew up with are just considered as "friends",
While those strangers you just met, are considered your game's end,
I'm tired of being that Betty,
What does Veronica have that I don't Archie,

I am your bestfriend Marius,
Evelyn- the one who is always there, your childhood muse,
Why choose Cosette,
Why choose someone you just met,

I am the one who understands you, why can't you see,
I am always here Percy,
I am Tooth Fairy, Jack,
I've been with you through hardest times Why can't you love me back,

Indeed, this is a curse,
The truest lovers are always friendzoned and there is no cure,
Indeed, those who did not win are the best,
Maybe we weren't really meant to be co'z I don't deserve less,

My effort might be wasted but it is for good,
For I realized I deserve the best not just good,
For my love was true,
It is pure, I didn't deserve someone half-assed like you.

Theme: Effort wasted but for good 

#WMSUnlikelyLoveStories